View from the Side

Jeff Stibel on the Internet as a Brain

2008-08-13T12:22:00.004-05:00

Came across this fascinating article over on Google Blogscope, it’s a long read but worth while.

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Jeffrey Stibel is the CEO of Web.com and a brain scientist and author. At his blog, he talks about The Internet & the Brain. He once told BusinessWeek, “Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, and be proud of your mistakes. At the end of the day learning and getting experience and getting advice from others shouldn’t be seen as a weakness, it should be seen as a positive.”

What are the similarities between the internet and the brain, and what is a shortcoming in the analogy, if any?

· The analogy is really quite different than what most people think. Most people assume I mean computers and AI. But that is really a small part of it. The Internet is really two innovations put together. The first is the telegraph; the second the computer. With the two combined, you have the ability to process information, store information and share or communicate that information. That is essentially what the brain does (or higher level brain functioning). The Internet is equivalent to our brain’s neural networks: neurons, like computers, connected to billions of other neurons through axons and dendrites (think phone and broadband lines). That is the hardware side of the analogy.

· The software side is really The World Wide Web. The brain has layers of complexity built on top of its neurons and neural networks. The most important are our semantic networks that enable memory. This is very similar to the way the World Wide Web works on top of the Internet. As you know hypertext is really the underlying current of the web, and that creates a very integrated structure of knowledge. And if Berners-Lee has his way (and I think he will), the web will actually become a semantic network.

In the analogy, is the user working on their computer (like by emailing, creating websites, or reading a blog) part of the neuron?

· No more than you are part of my brain right now as we have this conversation. To be sure, we are feeding the brain knowledge and information; communicating with it – but we are not “part of it.” The keyboard is a communication device, as are our mouths. Of course, there is a concept f a “global brain” but that is a whole different matter...

On your blog you also mentioned that websites are the memory. Are there analogies between accessing the memory in terms of how the brain works, and how the web works? One of the most common “memory access” approaches is using a search engine, it seems...

· It should come as no surprise that search (and retrieval) is the underlying function behind our ability to think. Storing memory is irrelevant if we cannot logically retrieve it. And that is why the best search engines are both the gateway to the web and so powerful. Google’s dominance is because of this.

Gnome at last: Stolen garden elf is returned after a 7-month adventure around the world

2008-08-12T12:56:00.002-05:00

And Finally the tale of a Feisty little gnome who got more action out of life than I have these past 4 years.

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By Beth Hale
Last updated at 10:50 AM on 12th August 2008

He's been swimming with turtles off the Great Barrier Reef, scaled a glacier in New Zealand and toured the ancient ruins of Angkor Wat.

Unfortunately the gnome formerly known as Murphy is giving nothing away - save for a singularly enigmatic smile.

Owners Eve and Derrick Stuart-Kelso were stunned to discover the 10-inch high stone leprechaun they had inherited when they bought their Gloucester home, had disappeared.

The couple, both retired, assumed the gnome had fallen foul of students from a nearby college and would never be seen again.

Both keen travellers, the couple never dreamed that the humble green-hatted garden ornament was setting of an around the world jaunt taking in 12 countries and three continents.

The 8lb gnome appeared on the Stuart-Kelso's doorstep on Thursday last week, some 11 months after disappearing.

A little the worse for wear, the traveller was standing next to a mysterious and tightly-wrapped parcel.

Once unwrapped it revealed a leather-bound photo album containing 48 pictures of the gnome's trip around the globe along with a note putting his impromptu world tour down to 'itchy feet'.

The painstakingly compiled album, complete with index, showed their gnome - renamed Barrington by his travel companions - abseiling down a mountain, standing in a shark's mouth, swimming in the sea, and riding a motorbike.

Also with him were immigration stamps for all the shores he had been taken to visit - South Africa, Swaziland, Mozambique, New Zealand, Australia, Singapore, Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, China, Hong Kong and Laos.

A witty note, purporting to be from Barrington, referred to his 'travelling companion' only as The Bear, and told the couple how he attracted unwanted attention from customs officials and took up 25 per cent of the party's luggage allocation.

The only clue, however, to the identity of those companions was a photograph of a group of grinning young men.

As for the letter it began:

'Hello! First of all I feel I should explain my prolonged absence. A gnome's life is full of time for reflection, and whilst surveying your garden one summer morning, I began to get itchy feet.

'I came to the conclusion that the world is a big place and there is more to life than watching the daily commuter traffic, and allowing passing cats to urinate on you.

'So I decided to free myself from the doldrums of the Shire and seek adventure. My travels have taken me across three continents, 12 countries and more time zones than I can possibly remember.

'There have been high points, low points, and positively terrifying points. But I have survived - small thanks to the companion with whom I have shared all these moments.'

The bizarre crime echoes the French film 'Amelie' starring Audrey Tatou in which a gnome belonging to her father is taken around the world and photographed to show him how much he is missing out on in life.

.Gloucestershire police took a less amused view of the adventure.

A spokesman said: 'Any theft of a person's property, even if it is carried out as a joke, will be treated as a crime by police.'

As for Murphy, his wanderlust satisfied he is now back in the flower bed where he belongs - only this time he's out of temptation's way in the back garden.

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Not surprisingly, the police doesn't appreciate the humor of the situation.

Feel Good Vibe's Continue

2008-08-12T12:33:00.005-05:00

Another “positive” themes blog entry, better be careful or people might think I’m not cynical and dour…

“This list is just to spark some ideas, and please note that not every item on this list is appropriate for every person in your life. I trust you to figure out which actions go with which people.”

Smile.
Help them carry something.
Call just to see how they’re doing. .
Tell a joke and laugh your butts off.
Clean.
Give them a cherished book. .
Thank them for a job well done. .
Give a free hug.
Spend time with them, having fun.
Do errands or chores for them.
Help them get ahead.
Be proud of them.
Coffee.
Deliver a nice lunch to them when they’re having a rough day

The rest of the list can be found here

Positive First Day!

2008-08-12T12:00:00.007-05:00

In case you didn’t know I’m a job placement case manager for a non-profit in Austin. I met with my first client, today; all in all it was a great experience!

Since I am in a great mood, Ill post 3 positively inspired articles I came across.

7 Powerful Ways to Get the Most Out of Any Situation

Great list of things one can do to make one’s life bearable, my persona favorite is no.3

Respect everyone. Not just the people you like, or the people you get along with, but everyone. Forgive the people who do you wrong. Take time to help those who wouldn’t help you. Reach out to people who would harm you. If you see someone sitting alone, take a walk across the room and say hi. Make time for people in your life. You’d be amazed at the difference it makes in your attitude to life.

To be honest, I still need to work on no 2.

Don’t assume the worst in people. There’s an old saying, “If a man thinks he’ll die tomorrow, he’ll probably find a way to make it happen.” If you look for faults in your partner, or expect them to cheat, you’ll push them away and only make it more likely. If you expect friends to fail you, you’ll set them up to do it. Try and look for the good in people, and treat them how you want to be treated yourself.

The rest of the list can be read here

Why Do People Say "Yes?" The "6 Weapons of Influence"

2008-08-11T12:55:00.002-05:00

Ran across this article and was intreagued by some of the premisies. my favorite being number 4 which I reprrinted here.
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Why do people say 'yes'? How can we get them to comply with our requests? I asked my friend David Palmer, an expert on organizational development and marketing.

"Fortunately, people often say 'yes' or agree with requests out of mindless compliance," David told me. "They are frequently willing to say 'yes' automatically without thinking first. It makes their lives simpler and smoother. But what most of us are trying to overcome is the opposite phenomenon, when they've programmed themselves to say 'no' without thinking about it.

4. LIKING: "The Friendly Thief"

People love to say 'yes' to requests from people they know and like. And people tend to like others who appear to have similar opinions, personality traits, background, or lifestyle. More people will say 'yes' to you if they like you, and the more similar to them you appear to be, the more likely they are to like you.

Most people are also phenomenal suckers for flattery, even when they know it isn't true. When we have a good opinion of ourselves, we can accept praise and like those who provide it. (Those with low self-esteem reject even well-earned praise and distrust the source.) All salespeople worth their salt have mastered the flattery tactic. They know it works, but they may not know why.

People also tend to like and trust anything familiar. The best way to build this familiarity is to have frequent, pleasant contacts. For example, if you spend three hours straight with someone you've never met before, you would get a sense of who they are. But if you divided the same time into 30-minute segments of pleasant interaction over six consecutive weeks, you would each have a much stronger and positive knowledge about the other. You have established a comfort level, familiarity, and a history with them. Their repeated pleasant contacts with your organization's services or products helps builds familiarity and liking.

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Patricia Fripp, CSP, CPAE is a San Francisco-based executive speech coach, sales trainer, and award-winning professional speaker on Change, Customer Service, Promoting Business, and Communication Skills. She is the author of Get What You Want!, Make It, So You Don't Have to Fake It!, and Past-President of the National Speakers Association. She can be reached at: PFripp@Fripp.com, 1-800 634-3035, http://www.fripp.com

We offer this article on a nonexclusive basis. You may reprint or repost this material as long as Patricia Fripp's name and contact information is included. PFripp@Fripp.com, 1-800 634-3035, http://www.fripp.com
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Mosters of Accordion and Mine

2008-08-11T11:57:00.011-05:00

Yesterday, I stopped by Terra Toys and picked up one of these toy accordions for a low price ($25) and yesI have been wailing away on this little things like crazy.

In honor of my latest purchase I’m writing a heads about the Monsters of Accordion tour hitting the West Coast, sadly I’m going to miss out on this awesome event.

Man Tried to Rob Store with Empty Box

2008-08-11T11:41:00.004-05:00

Friday, August 8, 2008
(08-08) 14:13 PDT Charleston, W.Va. (AP) --

Charleston police said a man tried to rob a movie rental store with an unusual weapon — an empty cheesecake box. The suspect placed the box on the counter of the Movie Gallery with a note saying it contained a bomb. He told the clerk the bomb would be detonated remotely if he wasn't given cash.

The clerk refused and the suspect fled.

Police arrested 43-year-old Paul Parrish II of Charleston on Wednesday.
Sgt. Aaron James said Parrish allegedly confessed after he was shown a store video of the attempted robbery. Parrish allegedly told police he needed money for gas and cigarettes.
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Information from: The Charleston Gazette, www.wvgazette.com

Wonder if the box was from a cheesecake he had bought or if he had found it. I mean, cheesecake aint cheap!

Awesome Thailand Light Bulb Commercial

2008-08-10T15:15:00.003-05:00

Saw this over on Boing Boing and was blown away by the wackiness of it all..

My Personal Favorite is the "Jackfruit Ghost"

Woman kills boyfriend for drinking her beer,

2008-08-10T11:32:00.003-05:00

By Matthew Walberg | Chicago Tribune reporter
August 7, 2008

A Chicago west side woman who allegedly stabbed her elderly boyfriend to death because he was drinking her beer was ordered held Thursday in lieu of $500,000 bail.

About 6 p.m. Wednesday, the two were sitting in Anderson's car outside his home when Williams became angry that he was drinking her beer. They began to quarrel, and Williams allegedly pulled a knife she carried for protection and began stabbing Anderson.

Afterward, Williams got out of the car and called down the street to Anderson's nephew, saying, "You better come get your uncle—I just killed him," according to her arrest report.

Groebner said Williams got back in the vehicle and finished drinking her beer.

Her next court date was set for Aug. 26.

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What I'm interested in, and the reporter failed to mention was, what brand of beer were they drinking?

After a long Hiatus I'm back

2008-08-09T21:11:00.001-05:00

After a long hiatus and plenty of life changing experiences I have decided to reactivate this old blog.

I will continue with the irreverent nonsense and occasional insight that marred my past entries and update during my lunch breaks at work. Hope I entertain and amuse you enough to keep you coming back.

10.09.07

2007-10-09T14:36:00.000-05:00

since moving to Seattle I have not had much time to read, write or generally have time to myself. to compound my dilemma is I never have a moment alone.

I did start a hard copy journal to write my thought, observations and ideas, but my moleskine isn't secure from prying eyes. That fear has kept me from writing what really goes on in my head. I have noticed that keeping everything bottled up is adding considerably to my stress level, so I have to let these things out of my system, hence I will start blogging again, only this time I will be keeping them private. I know the premise of a blog is to write down your thoughts for the whole world to see, but there are too many people that I have to hide those feelings from out there.

This will be my first entry in the Eye's Only section of my blog, if I have anything that i want to share I will make it public, but I doubt that I will trust anyone that much anytime soon.

Slow Morning

2007-08-02T11:42:00.000-05:00

Today is a slow morning, and since I’m facing the door and no one can see my screen, I decided to write a new report about my life.

The move to Seattle has been great, I finally got a decent job downtown working for a start up, cant really say which one, but does it really matter?

It’s right by the waterfront, and I managed to get a snazzy window office, unfortunately, I'm set up facing the door and not the window, so I miss most of the stuff going on outside. Not if it matters, it rains about 70% of the time anyways.

Aside from West Seattle and a few places downtown, I haven’t had much of a chance to explore the city, but so far I’ve had pretty good luck finding interesting places and things, the old proverb of not being able to throw a rock without hitting a coffee shop in Seattle is true, go figure. I have found a few music stores that carry a good selection of music, so I might take that into consideration these holidays.

Ok, stuff is starting to pick up, so I have to cut this short. I hope that lessened people’s fear that I had dropped off the face of the earth.

more to come soon.

Shave Your Back! � Curbly | DIY Design Community � Keywords: ishave, razor, inventions, silly

2007-06-07T19:15:00.000-05:00

I wonder if this product is as bad as it looks...

"Welcome the iShave, the telescoping razor designed to help you shave your back and other hard to reach areas."

Though it's not clear from where the "i" comes, the website includes a demo, of sorts, that lets you extend and retract the razor at will. The unit expands to 24", and includes extra-wide, disposable blades designed to help with 'tactile shaving.'"

Whatcha think? Inventive? I guess. Safe? Perhaps. DIYable? Don't know, but I'd start with a radio antenna, a disposable razor, and a whole heap of ducktape."

Shave Your Back! � Curbly | DIY Design Community

Hitting the ol' Google I found the iShave's homepage, now that I'm fully entering my 30s products like this don't seem so useless.

p.s. make sure you try out their demo, it's a blast

Diet Water [those wacky Asians]

2007-06-06T13:05:00.000-05:00

From the, “why oh why dear Bog…” RSS feed…

Diet Water

"From the strange-products-from-japan department comes Diet Water... the perfect weight loss beverage."

I wondered if this picture was a photoshop job - until I found another Japanese 'Diet Water' product"

From I am bored.

From Gokkun

Diet Water

And I thought the “smart water” silliness was strictly an American invention.

On my way to Seattle

2007-05-28T11:14:00.000-05:00

I have some free time to sit down and write, unfortunately I am going to be on dial-up for the next few weeks, so I wont be able to blog as often as I would like.

I wrote the following on Monday night\ Tuesday morning on my way to Seattle, if you read my Twitter entries, you would know that a simple 5 hour flight turned into a 22 hour nightmare.

5/22/07

1:45 am

it's 1:45 am and I cant sleep. In less than 2 hours I will be on my way to Seattle I hope the bags weight the 50 lbs. That's needed to be allowed on the plane, I can only afford to pay $80 for one extra bag.

If all goes well I will be allowed to take my bags, if not they will have to wait until I come down to pick up the rest of my stuff.

This is going to be my last entry from the Rio Grande Valley, sadly, my laptop is being repaired and will have to be mailed to Seattle next week [update: the laptop is arriving May 31^st]. The old desktop I used was formatted and given to a good friend. They need it more because they've just moved out on their own and don't have many belongings. Lucky for them I finally got around to fixing the overheating problem. That beige box might not be the prettiest thing out there, but it's tuned to run fast and efficient, which is more than I can say for most Vista boxes I've worked on these past few weeks.

I made a list of things I hope to accomplish by the end of the year. Once I get my laptop I'll start organizing them into long term and short term goals [addendum, I have already started doing this using my Google calendar, Gmail, Greasemonkey plug-ins and my new Getting Things Done book].

I hope this start won't be like the others I've had in the past. I'm getting to old to be starting over from scratch every time I become afraid of commitment.

I will try to get some sleep and write more at the airport.

p.s. I can't believe I am going over my own journal and correcting things with a red pen. God, I'm turning into a old biddy

6 am

Due to storms in Houston I am stuck in McAllen for an hour. I was lucky at the terminal and got all three bags checked in, I managed to be one of the first people abroad and found a spot for my bass in the overhead.

I'm worried this delay is going to affect my transfer to Seattle, I doubt that it will make me too late [little did I know...].

I'm sitting next to a middle aged lady and her soccer mom-ish daughter, and I feel their discomforts as I take my seat next to them. I swear the mother has a look that makes me think she shat herself. Going to nap, will write later.

12:45 pm

The plane got sidelined by a malfunction involving the cockpit's oxygen bottles. It's a good thing that this happened now and not while in flight, that would of sucked royally.

The plan is to catch a flight to Houston at 2, arrive there at 3-ish, then catch a flight to Seattle at 5:30 with the flight arriving at 8.

Today has been longer than I had anticipated and the phrase, “you're never leaving the valley” keeps ringing in my ears.

3:30 pm

Finally airborne! Feels like I'm making progress.

--to be continued--

T minus 2 days til Seattle

2007-05-20T13:45:00.000-05:00

God, there's nothing I hate more than, "last minute" complications.

Went by the McAllen airport last night to ask then a few questions about my luggage, and THE DAMNED PLACE WAS CLOSED!!! I mean, it's a f*ckin' airport for Christ's sake.

So I ended up going to the Continental web page to look up the info I needed and found out that my black bag is too big from what I calculated, I would have to pay close to $170 to get my bag up there. What a pisser.

Since you are allowed to take 2 bags free of charge, the best option would be to go by the local Army Surplus store, buying 2 more sea bags and paying $80 for the extra bag.

Looks like I won't be taking my bass up there after all, but on the bright side, this encourages me to buy a Banjo while I'm up there.

Learning to Pack

2007-05-12T11:48:00.000-05:00

This leads me back to a topic I've covered before, moving to Seattle. I'm attempting to take all my clothes on the trip up there, unfortunately I have never bought luggage in my life, so I had no idea what to get, what was a good set, how much they should cost, etc.

After making a feeble attempt at luggage shopping, I gave up and decided to go on the old school G.I. Route. I still own my original “seabag” from my old nay days so I tried to bundle and tape together as many t-shirts and pants as I could, sadly I still had more than 3 / 4 of my closet to go. Who knew I owned so many clothes? Mind you, I have gone spring cleaning and ditched a lot of clothes that didn't fit me, was old or just plain out of style...would it be sad if I mentioned I still had a pair of black Z. Cavaricci. pants in the pile? So in the end I ended up going to the overpriced army surplus store in McAllen and bought a 70” black duffel bag.

The bag is pretty nice, durable and big enough to smuggle a dwarf past the checkpoint. If I get the chance I'll take a picture of it. Unfortunately, it does not have any straps of any sorts, so moving it around is going to be a b*tch.

The final piece of luggage I'm taking with me is my electric bass. It's going to pain me having to leave brown Betty down here for over three months, but there is no way I can take her with me on the plane. I checked with the airline and the only way I could take her with me and be sure she would be safe would be to buy a separate plane seat for her. Alas, I'm not rolling in dough, so that plan is not feasible.

School and the Future

2007-05-10T18:43:00.000-05:00

This semester is coming to a close and I have my last test next Monday May 14. Unlike past semesters I'm not stressed about my performance, in fact, you could say I stopped caring, not the, “I don't give a f*ck, drop everything and give up” sort of way. Its more of an I did my best and not going to beat myself up over it if I don't get all A's kind of way. I know that I passed three of the four classes I'm enrolled in, so I don't see any point in worrying over them. On the other hand, I have this sinking feeling that I am going to fail my cognition class.

If you recall I was a research assistant for a whopping two or three weeks before I flipped and told off my supervisor. Lo and behold, he happens to be the instructor for this class. I'm not saying he is purposely failing me, 40 out of 55 students dropped his class and so far, no one's gotten anything higher than a 90 on any of his tests, but I do feel that our falling out has made him bias.

In order to pass the class I have to get an A on the final to scrape by with a C, which is the bare minimum required for a class in your major. Somehow, I don't think it is going to happen. If that's the case, I'm going to need Biology II and an upper level Psychology class to graduate. I have already enrolled in a Bio II class and a Psych class for the fall; however I don't think things are going to turn out as planned.

For starters, there is no way in hell I ever want to come back to this hellhole again. Even my shrink thinks that coming back will be a big mistake, so that’s telling you something. I have been nothing but miserable living here, and I have overstayed my welcome with my family.

There was\is a possibility that I can take my last two classes up in Austin, San Antonio or Houston. It would be easier to get situated in those cities because I have friends there and would have a social network to fall back on if something happened.

More than likely, I will finish my school up in Seattle, that way I won't have to drop my job for four months and hope that it will still be there when I get back. If I go this route I won't be starting school until the spring, which worries me. I don't want to drag out going to school longer than I have to. I am seriously tired of the whole student lifestyle and need to do something useful with all this schooling, plus I want more time for bass practice.

I've lived in the shadow of fear enough. For the longest time I told myself that this was my last chance to make something of myself and under no circumstances could I jeopardize this opportunity. This led me to a paralysis of opportunities, adventures, and chances. Not anymore, I've come to realize that the only thing that can stop me from succeeding is apathy and laziness. So what if I don't finish school according to a time table, as long as I don't lose hope I will get it done

part 1 of [many]

2007-05-09T20:47:00.000-05:00

Again I've fallen into the bad habit of to updating my blogs with anything meaningful, for that, I apologize to my three readers.

But as anyone who has known me for any length of time know, the farther along i go into a semester, the less time i spend online, however, this semester has proven to be different that the previous ones. It seems like my long held dream of leaving the Rio Grande Valley is finally coming into fruition.

Next Wednesday will be eight months since I've drank any alcohol, and it amazes me how easy it has become to say no. For a while there I almost fell back into the habit, the stress of school, living here, family, etc were starting to become overwhelming, but I had some people who encouraged me not to, and they reminded me of the mercurial nature of the situation. Sure enough it's passed.

I found out the hard way how important my meds have become to my daily well-being. Though a series of unplanned events I was left without any medication for close to two weeks. At first I thought I would be able to handle being off the meds, I was wrong. Th first few days I felt fine and was being positive and as outgoing, but by the fourth day things started going down hill fast. I became more irritable, things began looking hopeless, I felt I had less things to be happy about, you name it. Not only that, but my health started declining. I had constant headaches, I felt listless, my neck ached and my allergies became so bad I could not draw a single breath though my nose.

The final straw came when my desktop stopped working and I got so frustrated I picked it up and threw it against the wall. In one single gesture I had undone six months worth of work. I had become the exact same person I was back in September. It finally took someone telling point blank that I had become a selfish assh*le to realize how intolerable I was. Soon after my meds arrived, I started taking them and everything changed. I'm back to being a person who is somewhat tolerable, has a sporadic fits of wit and the occasional decent into Ebonics.

I have decided to break this original post into sections. I ended up writing five pages and I sure as hell know no one wants to read all that in one sitting.

How do you get the masses interested conservation issues? Give them sports heroes, sexy girls and rock and roll, of course

2007-05-05T15:07:00.000-05:00

its good to see that the lucha libre's "masked" champion of the people tradition is still alive and well.

May 04, 2007

Mexican Wrestler Goes to the Mat for Endangered Sea Turtles

How do you get the masses interested conservation issues? Give them sports heroes, sexy girls and rock and roll, of course

By Coco Ballantyne


	Image: © WiLDCOAST
	HIJO DEL SANTO is serious about defending sea turtle from poachers.

Marine turtles are imperiled and Mexico's supreme wrestling star, El Hijo del Santo ("Son of the Saint"), is fighting on their behalf. A media magnet, he is using his influence to promote a campaign against eating sea turtles, a massive effort designed to persuade people in Mexico to protect rather than eat the turtles that visit their shores each year to spawn.

Populations of sea turtles have undergone a steep decline in the past 50 years, even though they are protected by the Mexican government and the U.S. Endangered Species Act of 1973.

Hijo del Santo has joined forces with WiLDCOAST, a California- and Mexico-based conservation group that works to protect the coastal ecosystems and wildlife in California and Latin America. Pumping up the public about environmental issues has not been easy, but WiLDCOAST, operating on a modest $800,000 annual budget, has managed to snag the attention of millions by tapping into popular culture.

Their secret: celebrity spokespeople, including Mexican soccer stars Jorge Campos and Francisco "Kikin" Fonseca, popular bands Mana and Los Tigres del Norte, Argentinean model Dorismar, and, now, legendary wrestler Hijo del Santo.

The campaign has two goals: discouraging the consumption of turtle meat and, more recently, turtle eggs as well. Eating caquama, or turtle meat, is a tradition in some parts of Mexico that is increasingly losing its allure, says Fay Crevoshay, WiLDCOAST's spokesperson. The turtle meat campaign began in 2001 and by 2005, she says, "we had the biggest population in 20 years of turtles laying eggs in Oaxaca's La Escobilla Beach."


Image: courtesy of Campamento San Valentin in Petatlan, Guerrero
BABY LEATHERBACK TURTLES can ultimately grow as large as 2,000 pounds and eight feet in length.

The egg campaign was initiated two years ago, but made a big splash thanks to celeb spokesperson Dorismar. The model appeared in print ads wearing a slinky black bikini alongside baby turtles scurrying across a beach. "My man doesn't need sea turtle eggs, because he knows they don't make him more potent," reads the ad's caption. A common misconception is that sea turtle eggs have aphrodisiac power, but they are simply rich in protein, explains Aida Navarro, WiLDCOAST's wildlife conservation program manager.

"It's really hard to keep track of the number of eggs eaten," Navarro says, because they are sold on the black market (Mexican law bars consumption of both turtle eggs and meat) but, she notes, "there is definitely more awareness."

"Certainly environmental education and awareness campaigns like this one are important to making changes in behaviors," says Rebecca Lewison, assistant professor of ecology at San Diego State University. "Unfortunately, turtle eggs are harvested throughout Mexico, though it's virtually impossible to estimate how many."

Although WiLDCOAST's campaign has been successful in limiting the harvesting of sea turtles and their eggs, environmentalists point out that there are other risks to the turtle population as well. "A critical point to recognize is that the turtle egg harvest is only one of many threats sea turtles face in Mexico," Lewison notes. "Direct and indirect harvest of adult turtles [via gear entanglement] may be driving many observed declines."

Off to Cloudland

2007-04-18T19:36:00.000-05:00

this has got to be one of the cutest things I've seen in a long time.

D&D convention in Iraq

2007-04-18T19:06:00.000-05:00

When President Bush ordered troops to Iraq, he probably never imagined that he would be ultimately be responsible for what very well could be the very first D&D convention/game day ever held in a war zone. Ziggurat Con, being held June 9 from 1200 to 2100 hours at Camp Adder/Tallil Airbase, is open to all allied military personnel and civilian contractors in Iraq.

KBR and MWR (the army’s Morale Welfare & Recreation Department) have graciously allowed service members to use part of the Community Activity Center to hold the Game Day. The Ping Pong room will be set up for RPGs (Role-Playing Games, not to be confused with the rocket propelled grenades which share the same acronym), and the DVD Movie room will be playing Anime Movies all day in support of the event.

The largest problem with running a Con in Iraq, of course, is that there are no local stores or game publishers, and few game books on the post. Even dice are in short supply, with many soldiers breaking the unwritten taboo held by many gamers and sharing dice. Thankfully, many game publishers have also lent their support, and have agreed to supply game products to help the Con along. aethereal FORGE, Sovereign Press, Final Redoubt Press, Goodman Games, Paizo Publishing and Steve Jackson Games are among those that have thrown in their support for the convention. But Amberson indicated that the soldiers could definitely use more.

"This convention is currently in drastic need of prizes and giveaways for the troops," he said. "Everything donated will go directly to the troops, or to MWR to use as loaner books for the soldiers."

For more information, contact SPC David Amberson at the following address: david.amberson (at) iraq.centcom.mil

Donations can also be sent to SPC Amberson directly at the following address:

SPC David Amberson
A Co 86th Sig Bn
APO, AE 09331

They’re planning to run the following games (and will be happy to get additional games):
Babylon 5 RPG, Cyberpunk 2020, D&D, D&D RPGA, GURPS, Historic Miniatures Battles, Magic Tournament, MechWarrior Miniatures, Rifts, Shadowrun, Starship Troopers, White Wolf System-Vampire, White Wolf System-Werewolf, XCrawl

Got any game books crowding your shelves that you never use? Here's a great cause to donate them to. Spread the word.

We would love anything we can get. We do have a White Wolf game here, but not much in the line of books, mostly the older editions. We will have a small LARP game that we are trying to get permission to have happen at the Ziggurat for which the con is named (A LARP at a historical site that has been around since Biblical times - WOW). Gamer related material would be absolutely awesome!! It takes 2 weeks or less when shipping Priority, so you still have time.

My address is as follows:
SPC David Amberson
A Co 86th Sig Bn
APO, AE 09331

Thank you so much for your support,
Dave

what is everyone whispering about - yoinked from aberrantvirtue

Neil Diamond - Solitary Man

2007-04-10T00:59:00.001-05:00

one of my fave. song

Who By Fire

2007-04-05T13:00:00.001-05:00

One of my favorite Leonard Cohen songs, great live version

Low-Fi Flash Gordon

2007-03-28T20:50:00.000-05:00

Friend of mine just finished a short film for one of his Film School Classes. If you like bad or hoakey Sci-fi heck it out, it's a hoot
Flash Gordon Home Movie

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Bonehead move of the Day

2007-03-28T15:00:00.000-05:00

You know your mentally preoccupied when you manage to confuse a can of oatmeal with a can of creamer….Irish Breakfast Tea flavored Oatmeal is rancid.

That or I’m getting Alzheimer’s.

Random Airport Pics

2007-03-09T15:43:00.000-06:00

Trip Update 2

2007-03-09T15:15:00.000-06:00

Arrived in Houston safely, I must admit, very few things compare to having your body hurled though the either. But I know of one, that’s walking on soil brimming with opportunities, dreams and idealism, stark contrast to the soil I lifted of from. I’ll be here in this location for the next five hours so I might as well make the best of it.

First thing I did after getting off the plane is head to the familiar Starbuck’s sign and order myself a grande Soy Latte.

After that I went on a search for a power outlet for my notebook. Like I expected they are extremely hard to find. After 45 minutes of wondering around, I found one by the Borders bookstore, not only that there was a café table right next to it, how lucky is that?

Right now I’m sitting with this guy from Rice who’s sharing the plug with me, his name is Brad and he’s heading out to Florida for spring break. Nice enough fellow.

Going to work on my RA certs. that should help pass the time, took some pics while in flight, enjoy

Trip Update 1

2007-03-09T12:00:00.000-06:00

12:02 pm

I sit here in the McAllen International Airport, waiting for my flight. So far things have gone smoothly; I went though the gate and didn’t have any more problems than expected.

One thing I did have problems with was my airport breakfast. My god who would have thought that airport cooks could screw up a simple ham and cheese biscuit sandwich? Certainly not me, but they proved me wrong. I should have taken a picture of the train wreck on my plate.

Flight leaves in 45 minutes, next update will be from Houston.

Mid March Updates

2007-03-08T12:23:00.000-06:00

The pre Spring Break rush is finally over and I have some time to update on the going ons in my life.

This past weekend, I fell victim to food poisoning. This was the first time I had ever suffered the debilitating effects of it and I can honestly say; it was horrendous. Never had I felt so helpless and useless. This caused me to miss the majority of my classes this past week and a major test on Monday evening. I started feeling better on Wednesday and I’m on the road to recovery.

Wednesday I trained for my RA gig and got the run down on the theory behind the experiments. I start running tests on subjects on the 19^th when I get back from Spring Break. The premise of the experiment is “phantom memory” and ways of measuring its presence, that’s all I can say about it now.

I took my Memory test a few minutes ago and feel I did great; I also made up Monday’s Measurement test and feel confident about it as well. I’m now free to focus on getting prepared for my upcoming trip to Seattle.

I leave McAllen International Airport tomorrow at 1 in the afternoon and arrive in Seattle at 10 in the evening, I have a 6 hour layover in Houston, which I am not looking forward to, but there’s not much I can do about that. This is the first time I’ve traveled by air since the whole 9-11 crackdown on air travel. I’m pretty nervous about what my experience is going to be like, but I feel that reading all that dystopian fiction has prepared me for the draconian policies established by homeland security and the phrase, “papers please’ doesn’t strike too alien to me.

I’ll probably spend Friday reading, taking pictures and writing.

New Update in my Life

2007-02-28T23:03:00.000-06:00

So I’ve decided to take a quick break from studying – which seems to be all I do nowadays – to write another quick update about what’s going on in my life at this time.

I’ve finally snagged a job as a Research Assistant and will be working closely with one of the professors on Memory research, and I have to opportunity to conduct my own experiments, that is, once I complete this humongous ethics exam. On the bright side, when I finish and pass the exam,I’ll be qualified to be an RA anywhere in the US. I’ll be working as an RA until the end of the semester, then start up again in the fall when I get back from Seattle.

I’m pretty excited about this job, because it's one more step closer to my goal; unfortunately, it requires tons and tons of time and energy. Energy that I used to devote to my friends, and I feel I’m letting people slip out of my life, but I guess that’s the nature of life…

Spring Break is in two weeks, and I finally get to take a much deserved vacation. Granted, there is an element of work involved in my trip up there, but I really need to get the hell out of this place, even if it’s for a week. Another reason this trip will be good for me is to start acclimatizing myself to the real world, after four years in the RGV, you forget what life is like north of Alice.

And Now for something completely Different

2007-02-20T14:40:00.000-06:00

Wow, once again I’ve gotten so caught up with school and life that I haven’t had time to update with any meaningful entries…

One of the reasons I’ve been so busy is because I’ve been jumping though all the hoops that lead to grad school. So far, things are looking good. I’m heading out to Seattle in less than 20 days and speaking with the Psychology Department at the U of W. If things go well, I will be heading back there for the summer, do an internship and take the GRE.

Of course, a special someone is there too, so it’s not going to be all work, work work…

I’ve also decided to go into the PhD program and bypass the whole Masters business, mainly because after two years into the program you take a test to see if you’ve learned anything and that counts as a de facto Masters degree.

For a while I was unsure if I wanted to continue with school at all, but circumstances and events have been so favorable these past few weeks I would be foolish not to take them. If I get admitted I wouldn’t start until the fall of ’08, so I have a year vacation from academia. That should be more than enough time to recharge my drive and energies.

This pretty much verifies that I’m leaving the RGV and heading off to greener pastures. I suppose the four years I’ve spent in this sun-bunt hell has taught me a few things, mainly to preserver against odds, lack of support, ignorance and apathy. Second, the discipline to stick to something until the job is done regardless of what you have to lose or give p to accomplish it. Finally, that no matter how tidy and orderly and tidy you try to make your life, unexpected surprises will continue to crop up like the plot of a bad Spanish soap opera.

That’s pretty much sums up the past few weeks, school is going great and I’m enjoying meshing the things I’ve learned in Advertising with the things I’m learning in Psychology, if one didn’t know any better they would think I was training to master the art of Propaganda…

Oh, on a side note, I have joined the Fon movement and host a free hotspot from my house. So if you’re ever in the 1200 block of E. Cano, you’re more than welcomed to use my signal for free.

Hard 'N Phirm -

2007-02-07T01:23:00.001-06:00

Siouxsie and the Banshees - Passenger

2007-01-31T18:43:00.001-06:00

One of my all time favorite '80s song, god I feel old

Dr. Who Tardis USB Hub

2007-01-31T13:21:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I admit I have become hooked on Dr. Who, so when I saw this I nearly made water in my pantaloons out of joy.

From the site:

The Doctor Who Tardis USB Hub boasts four ports in which to plug your various gizmos. Simply plug in and you’re away. But here’s the good bit: every time you connect or disconnect a device, the blue light on the top of the Tardis flashes and that unmistakable de-materialisation ‘vworp, vworp’ sound starts sawing away at your lugholes. Thankfully it doesn’t actually vanish into the time vortex, so you can enjoy the classic grating din again and again by plugging in more devices or pressing the demo button.

Perfect for Doctor Who fans or those of you who want to increase your USB connectivity via a pretend Gallifreyan time/space machine, the Tardis USB Hub makes an eye-catching addition to any work surface. And with 4 metres of cable, you can easily slip it out of view when the boss, wife, or anyone else who might disapprove of PC peripherals disguised as dimensionally transcendental vehicles, is around. Vworp, vworp!

I Hate Gary Numan

2007-01-31T13:13:00.000-06:00

Because my sweetheart has an undying hatred for Gary Numan (he was a d*ck to her), I designed these stickers for her. They should be coming in the mail in a few weeks

Spring +15

2007-01-31T12:30:00.000-06:00

It’s been 15 days since the spring 2007 semester started so I figured it was time for a few updates.

As of Monday the 29^th I weigh 203-204 lbs., looks like I finally broke the 210 barrier. Some of my other scores are a little high, but they are continuing to drop. They should be at average levels by March.

March; where to start, contrary to previous posts, I am not going to spend spring break alone, in fact, I’m not going to spend spring break here at all. I’ve met someone who shares my affinity for Glass Tiger and bad ‘80s new wave fashions. We’ve hit it off great and she’s letting me spend spring break with her.

I know what some of you may be thinking, “Oh gawd, here we go again,” to all those nay-sayers I say Poppycock! I’m approaching this relationship slowly, with caution but no past experiences clouding my trust or judgment. For personal reasons this is all I will say about this

I finally got my Rev. Solo II from Barefoot Larry’s and installed it on the stand up bass. I must say, going electric is a whole new experience! I swear my love for the stand up grows more every day. Unfortunately, with school starting to get hectic I’m having less and less time to practice, which is a pisser.

That’s pretty much it, I got a cell phone again, and if anybody wants my number let me know and I’ll send it to you

Oh yeah, I’m still looking for a Luthier to work on my bass so if anybody know of one that I can go to let me know, I would really appreciate it

Mummified Baby

2007-01-25T09:20:00.000-06:00

DELRAY BEACH, Florida (CNN) -- The partially mummified body of a baby, wrapped in 1950s newspapers, was found Monday by a woman going through her deceased parents' belongings in a southeast Florida storage facility, according to police.

"It was a baby boy, partially mummified," said Delray Beach police spokesman Jeff Messer. "The woman was pretty upset when she found it. You could make out the features pretty clearly." The child had hair, he said.

The body was in a small suitcase, which was placed inside a larger suitcase, said Messer, who viewed the remains.

The body was "very well preserved. In my experience, I have not seen remains in that condition after such a long time," said Police Lt. Mark Woods.

The daughter was notified by the warehouse owner that rent on the storage bay was overdue and the contents would be sold at auction if the account was not brought up to date, police said. She flew from New Jersey to examine the contents of the storage bay and made the gruesome discovery.

Police said the woman did not disturb the remains or remove the newspapers they were wrapped in.

The daughter, who told police she did not know of any stillbirths or abortions in the family, gave them permission to search the storage area without a warrant, Messer said. It was described as being about the size of a one-car garage and was filled with furniture and housewares.

Police are treating the warehouse as a crime scene.

What surprises me the most is the fact that the body managed to become “mummified” in Florida’s humidity

Oscar’s hard luck lesson of the day

2007-01-22T14:45:00.000-06:00

Never under any circumstances try to ride a dirt bike in cold rainy weather while wearing creepers. That is a recipe for disaster.

Sunday Brunch Ideas

2007-01-21T18:19:00.000-06:00

You know, when it comes to food, I’m a pretty open minded guy, I’ve had roasted rice grubs in Thailand and iguana in Guam (tasted like green mole). I like to try everything at least once before I make a judgment, but even I think I would have problems eating this.

Fried-brain sandwich

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A brain sandwich served in Evansville, IN

A fried-brain sandwich is generally a sandwich with sliced calves' brains on sliced bread. Thinly sliced fried slabs on white toast became a ubiquitous menu item in St. Louis, Missouri, after the rise of the city's stockyards in the late 1880s, although demand there has so dwindled that only a handful of eating places still offer them. But they remain popular in the Ohio River valley, where they are served heavily battered on hamburger buns. In Evansville, Indiana, they are still offered at a couple of mom and pop eateries and remain a favorite culinary treat featured at the the city's annual West Side Nut Club Fall Festival.

The rise of incidents of Bovine spongiform encephalopathy (BSE) or "Mad Cow" disease in recent years will likely further diminish the remaining appeal of this curious regional dish. Brains from cows over 30 months old at slaughter are no longer permitted in human food in the U.S. (Hefling, 2004). Some restaurants have taken to serving pigs' brains instead of cow brains due to BSE concerns. But as pigs' brains are substantially smaller than cows' brains, the amount of prepraration required for each sandwich increases. Each brain must be cleaned before being sliced and pigs' brains produce fewer slices.

Great News for Once

2007-01-17T11:54:00.000-06:00

I just got out of my Dr’s appointment and I found out that since last time I was here I’ve lost 15 lbs. not bad for one month!!

In the past I’ve never been able to get below this weight, so hopefully I next month I can get 10 lb below that.

I have developed a new respect for musicians from cold regions, it was only 40 degrees yesterday and my fingers felt like Vienna sausages, totally unresponsive and sluggish, luckily, I have some spiffy hobo gloves that helped a bit.

Brain worms in Texas

2007-01-16T14:06:00.000-06:00

Another in the series of uplifting posts, this one deals with my home region, South Texas

Brain worms in Texas

Wash your hands, cook meats, and clean fruits and vegetables to protect yourself from brain worms. Apparently, several cases of cysticerosis have recently been reported in South Texas. The infection is caused by tapeworm larvae that form cysts within the body and can eventually move their way into the brain and spinal cord, resulting in neurocysticerosis. According to the Center for Disease Control, seizures, headaches, confusion, brain swelling, and even death can occur. According to a KENS TV article, one individual who suffered from the problem was Renaldo Ramirez, 50, of Houston. He complained of a headache and eventually passed out for more than a week. From the article (MRI image of neurocysticerosis from Wikipedia) :

Dr. Aaron Mohanty found a cyst of tapeworm larvae living in Ramirez's brain. If it hadn't been found, the doctor said, Ramirez could have been dead within hours from the disease called cysticercosis. The disease is usually found in rural parts of developing countries with poor hygiene habits. However, Ramirez was the fourth patient Mohanty treated within a few months.

Ramirez's cyst was removed through a small incision.

There have been cases of cysticercosis in South Texas, San Antonio's Metro Health District said, but it is not a major outbreak.

Link

Final Fate for Us All

2007-01-16T13:10:00.000-06:00

Because people don't spend enough time pondering the final fate that awaits us all, I present to you all, a time lapse decaying pig, enjoy.

First Day in the Frontlines

2007-01-16T10:09:00.000-06:00

I write these words at the UTPA student union. Today is the first day of the Spring Semester, but it doesn’t feel like it, right now its 54 degrees drizzly and windy. This is pretty ironic considering that the first day of Fall Semester was in the mid 80s hot and humid. If people still need proof that global warming is messing up our season, they just need to step outside and they’ll feel the evidence.

This semester I’m taking all Psychology classes as I pretty much finished off my Advertising\ PR degree. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before but my schedule looks something like this

Cognitive Processes: Monday Wednesday and Friday 10:45 to 11:35

Test and Measurements in Psychology Monday 4:30 to 7

Memory Tuesday and Thursday 10:35 to 11:50

Sense and Perception: Tuesday and Thursday 2:35 to 3:50

Oh I finally found a truck that is affordable and suitable for the big move come this Fall, to be honest right now I’m more concerted with function over form, so looks aren’t that important. I’m heading up to Austin this Friday to finish the sale on Saturday, hopefully I’ll get to visit some of the friends I have up there, but these things can be pretty touch and go, most of them have their own lives now and conflicts of schedules are more common now.

Still single, haven’t drank since September, still on the low fat low sodium 2000 calorie diet, and I started smoking aging. Besides that, nothing much has changed in my life these past few weeks.

Spam

2007-01-13T05:20:00.000-06:00

All I have to say is, Spam sure is getting downright literary..

***

"they consent to keep me there? Would they keep me long enough to in the sun. At one we dined, Mr. Mell and I, at the upper end of dull. Over a door in this wall was a board with SALEM HousE upon treasure, as in duty bound, I laid at the feet of Steerforth, and was standing opposite, staring so hard, and making me blush in the to ascertain for what, I saw, to MY amazement, Peggotty burst from when I felt weary, and should have enjoyed another hours repose Creakles side.

Mr. Creakles face was fiery, and his eyes were the waiter, I wouldnt take a sixpence. If I didnt support a out, would be deader than pork afore he got over half the ground. extremely painful, though I never thought of that till afterwards Creakle, was one of the great sights of my life. I didnt think about him without having ever been in his power; but it rises Mell, and listening through it to what used to be at home, and to did throw his head back, and take it off quick, I had a horrible me when he had disposed of my affair in these terms.

I told him instead. If he shows his face near it, mine assumes an imploring under the same kind of astonishment to this day, having invariably of a strong character. He knows me, and I know him. Do YOU know readily undertook its transmission. While I was waiting for theO h yes, I replied; I had a good memory, and I believed I embarrassment of either disclosure or concealment, by presenting me made no impression on any of the bystanders, if I except a man in something else to eat, and had pointedly alluded to that much, but sat by the fire and said I didnt want anything.

This and got upon the roof; but I was so dead sleepy, that when we before which I precipitately retreated, without waiting for the muster courage to take any, though I should have liked it very his arrival, in this form of introduction, Look here. Heres a a nice little loaf of brown bread, which cost me threepence. Then, only brought it immediately, but was good enough to look over me Sweetmeats did you say, Mr. Barkis? For I thought he wanted which said they were established for twenty-five poor women. driven up the yard to turn his cart, and also what would The coach was in the yard, shining very much all over, but without"

***
I have no idea what that has to do with herbal Viagra, but I'm sold!

First post of the Year

2007-01-12T00:08:00.000-06:00

Considering I started my day at three in the afternoon today has been pretty good. I ordered my books online and saved myself a little over $300, I’ve been kicking myself in the ass for not buying my books online sooner.

A while after that I got my financial aid check and I was surprised, it was for a lot more than I had anticipated, but unfortunately the car wasn’t here so I didn’t get to go to the bank in time, but since I’m usually up at 8 am, that will be the first thing on my to-do list.

After the futile trip to the bank, a friend and I decided to get something to eat and ended up at Pizza Hut. As tempting as a large meat lovers with extra cheese sounded, I ended up ordering a medium thin n crispy veggie loves (4 slices =540 cals), yeah I know that sounds pretty gay, but smother it in pepper flakes and it gets some hair on its chest.

After that, we drove around, went half-assed car shopping, but no luck. I get home and my desktop is fucked up again, the NIC seems to be acting fruity and not connection to the router, so I’m debating if I should bother with it, or just reformat the whole damned thing. Besides that, today has been a pretty good day.

Latest Adiction

2006-12-20T16:57:00.000-06:00

God damn it, it seems that as son as I get rid of a bad habit, I go and pick up a new one!

I’ve quit smoking and haven’t had one since Saturday, but now I’m hooked on Altoids Dark Chocolate mints. God damn these things are so good…

One More Year Under the Belt

2006-12-18T09:20:00.000-06:00

365 days have passed since my last birthday, with it, a promise of another year and the unexpected surprises it brings.

This year has been an especially trying one. First, after years of feeling down and unhappy with life I finally took the first step to get help. All in all, the past few weeks have been ones where each day was a little better than the one before. And I was coming to terms with things and was getting comfortable with the way they were heading. This was shaping up to be a good birthday.

Well, Mother Nature has given me her own Birthday gift, a wakeup call. I went to the Dr.’s today to be told I have Diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and some sort of thyroid problems. Wow, I always thought that was stuff that happened to old people, but I guess I am one of them now.

Now I have to decide, should I keep on the path I am and face the possibility of an earlier demise, or make drastic changes now, change my life as I know it; no more smoking, no more drinking AND draconian calorie courting? I think I am going to go with the latter choice.

Am I mad about this? A bit, but now that I am so close to finishing school and finally moving on to the next stage of my life I would be stupid to cut that phase short. Do I think it’s unfair? No not really, no one is to blame but me (and genetics); we make our own choices and must face the consequence of those decisions. Am I scared? Yeah, unlike a broken bone that eventually heals and gets better, these things are never going to go away. They’re going to be with me for the rest of my life, but depression followed with me the majority of my early life, so I guess I can get used to dealing with something long term. I just need to keep reminding myself why this is worth doing this.

And why is that? What’ the big reason? That’s the Billion dollar question…

Last Day of Fall 06

2006-12-06T17:26:00.000-06:00

Today I take the last test of the semester. Incidentally, this was suppose to be the last test of my academic career, but due to unforeseen circumstances, I’m going to stay in the Rio Grande Valley one more semester.

It’s kind of sad really; everyone I’ve been in classes with is patting each other on the back and congratulating each other on a job well done and future plans for next year. I however, don’t join in the celebrations. From day one I had decided I did not want to be part of this place or its people, so I been distant, detached and aloof. Unfortunately, three years of living like that can start to fray your sense of identity. We humans are social creatures, and as much has I hate to admit it, I am too.

Maybe it’s the meds and my new found sense of wholeness, but I feel I must change my ways if I ever really plan to get better. It could also be like they say and you start losing your edge as you get older, but clinging on to the same grudges for ten years is starting to feel stupid.

Does that mean I’m going to become as obnoxious and self righteous as most born-again Christians or former drug users? God, I hope not, but I do feel it is time to change and move on.

I’m starting to get used to the idea that I can’t drink anymore while I’m on the meds; however, my moral fortitude has yet to be tested in a social situation. I’m not sure how my friends back in Austin are going to take this, but I’m sure I’m going to have to endure some ridicule and mockery.

I could go on and on about self-discovery and finding my place and purpose in the universe, but to be honest, who really wants to read that?

Zombie Chickens, finally a reality

2006-12-04T13:29:00.000-06:00

for the love of God! I never thought I would live to see the day where the words "Zombie" and "Chicken" would scream at me from a news headline. I guess i have finally seen it all...
****

`Zombie chickens' hatch debate over older chickens' fate

PETALUMA (AP) - In this rich agricultural region of Northern California, ranchers have been turning chickens too old to lay eggs into compost at a rate of a half-million hens a year.

But some chickens not properly euthanized have been seen crawling out of the compost piles, earning them the name ``zombie chickens'' -- and hatching a debate over what else might be done with them and other ``spent hens.''

A food bank proposed making sausage to feed the poor. A reptile enthusiast suggested using them as food for large exotic pets like pythons and alligators. And an industry group said in the future they could be used as fuel for power plants.

But for now, according to egg farmers in Sonoma County, composting is the only affordable option. The last California rendering plant stopped taking the hens in May.

``If there was something that could be done, it would be done,'' said Petaluma egg farmer Arnie Reibli.

The egg-laying birds have only a pound of usable meat, compared to the 5-pound chickens typically raised for eating. Slaughtering the chickens, even to transport them unprocessed and frozen whole, would likely cost more than composting them, Reibli said.

``Unfortunately, it's less expensive to go out and buy the birds than process them,'' said David Goodman, executive director of the Redwood Empire Food Bank in Santa Rosa, which had considered the sausage-making plan.

To kill the chickens, farmers suffocate them in sealed boxes filled with carbon dioxide, a practice that has drawn the ire of animal rights groups. Afterward, the hens are layered in mounds of sawdust.

A new European technology that turns dead cows into fuel to generate electricity -- and that could be the fate of spent hens someday, said Rich Matteis, head of the Pacific Egg and Poultry Association.

But ``that's not something that's going to be available anytime soon,'' he said.

****
personaly, I think they should sell the unholy hellspawn chickens as pets. I'm sure there is a nitche market for demonic pets.

Speech Patterns of Schizophrenics

2006-11-28T18:46:00.000-06:00

Kind of bums me out that it’s taken all semester to get to the only topic I care about in Abnormal Psychology, and were only going to cover it for a week, that affliction is Schizophrenia.

What’s fascinated me the most about schizophrenia is how it drastically alters a patients speech and communication skills. For example, here is a test given to 4 individuals they had to describe the similarities between two colors. See I you can spot the schizophrenics:

Speaker 1:My God, this is hard. There are both about the same, except that this one might be a little redder.

Speaker 2:They both are either the color of canned salmon or clay. This one here is the pinker one.

Speaker 3:This is the stupid color of a shit ass bowl of salmon. Mix it with mayonnaise. Then it gets tasty. Leave it alone and puke all over the fuckin’ place. Puke fish

Speaker 4:Makeup. Pancake makeup. You put it on your face and they think guys run after you. Wait a second! I don’t put it on my face and guys don’t run after me. Girls put it on them.

(Cohen, Nachmani & Rosenberg, 1974, p. 11)

Needless to say, the schizophrenics’’ answers made me bust out laughing.

Another interesting affliction to them is Neologisms [new words], the patiens combine words into a new form or use words in new ways, here is another example with commentary.

TH: Sally, you’re not eating inner tonight. What’s the problem?

PT: No, I had belly bad luck and brutal and outrageous [I have stomach problems and I don’t feel good]. I gave all the work money [I paid for my meal]. Here I work. Well the difference is I work five days and when the word was [when I am told to work] but I had escapingly [I got out of some work]. I done it for Jones. He planned it and had me work and helped my work and all and had all the money. He is a tie-father [a relative]. Besides generation ties and generation hangages [relationships between family generations – the way generations hang together]… he gave love a lot.

I fit in them generations since old-fashion time [since long ago]. I was raised in packs [with other people]…certain times I was, since I was littlehood [since I was a little girl]… she said she concerned a sally-twin [my twin sister]. She blamed a few people with minor words [she scolded people], but she done goodship [good things].

TH: Sally, is there anything else you want to tell me before you go?

PT: well, I expect there’s a lot of things, but I would know what they were, especially the unkind crimery [the bad things]

(Hagen, Florida State University, clinical files)

I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but this and the other three case files I’ve read on Neologisms have kept me glued to them in the way a good novel does.

Finally the last oddity of speech I like is that of Clanging. This can be summed up as, “crazy people rap.”

TH: How are things going today Ernest?

PT: Ok for a flump.

TH: What is a flump?

PT: A flump is a grump.

TH: That doesn’t make any sense.

PT: well, when you go to the next planet from the planet beyond the planet that landed on the danded and planded on the standed.

TH: wait a minute. I didn’t follow any of that.

PT: well, when you first bit on the slit on the rit and the man on the ran or the pan on the ban and the sand on the man and the pan on the ban on the can on the man on the fan on the pan… [all spoken very rhythmically, beginning slowly and building up to such a rapid pace that the words could no longer be understood]

TH: what’s all that hitting on your head for…and waving your arms?

PT: That’s to keep the boogers from eating the woogers…

(Hagen, Florida State University Clinical Field)

Goddamn, someone give ernest a record deal!

A Day in the Life

2006-11-27T20:57:00.000-06:00

I hope that by now everyone’s sick of turkey sandwiches. My thanksgiving was better than expected, well Thursday at least. The last 3 days have been pretty ho-hum and dull.

Friday I went to go see The Fountain and was swept away by its imagery and story of undying love and obsession, then again it could be the drugs talking. It’s not a perfect movie, but I’m glad I went to go see it.

I finally got around to seeing the revamped Battlestar Galactica, and I can honestly say I loved it. Granted, it doesn’t have the cheese factor and scene chewing chicanery from the first show, but it holds up with its own strengths and merits.

Practice on both basses has been going well; I can’t wait until I take “Brown Betty” to get fitted for the Solo II pick up and for her new strings.

As the semester comes winding down and I have my long winter break, I am let wondering what I will do for the next 4 to 5 weeks. A job would be nice, but without reliable transportation it might be hard. I would like to go somewhere to visit, but again, without reliable transportation or a steady income it seems problematic.

If all goes well I will have a truck in January, still a long way off. Will that be the key even that will set in motion the series of events that will lead to a change in my life? I hope so; if not then at least it ensures that I will have a way out of this place come summer.

Summer, at the end of May I will be at the en of a long journey, one that led me to this place in the fall of 2003. Seems like an eternity since I’ve felt part of the real world, how different will it be? Will the things I remember match up with the things I will experience? Has the world and I changed in a way that will not be compatible, or will the changes in my life be complimentary to the world I will inhabit?

So many questions, so many roads, so many possibilities.

An Uncharacteristic Moment of Self-Reflection

2006-11-20T19:09:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving is right around the corner and we are reminded that, once a year we are expected to look back at our lives and be thankful for what we’ve gotten or done.

Interestingly enough, I’m single, unemployed, living under someone else’s roof and with out many worldly possessions to my name. Not a situation you would associate with thankfulness; yet, I find that everything in my life is not as desolate as it once was.

Many people I cared for have exited my life this year; some due to my stupidity and callousness, others, have lost interest in me as an individual and source of amusement and left on their own. For those that have tenaciously stuck by me, regardless of what have gone on, I can never show how grateful I am to you.

To find things to be grateful for, self-reflection is in order, and I finally confirmed what I had suspected for many years. I’ve been diagnosed with major depression and have been going to treatment for the past month. Progress seems to be going along fairly.

For a while, I was ashamed of the whole situation and hid it from people, but living with secrets is tiring, and lying to people is even more so. Besides, living with lies is a bad way to gain people’s trust. So here it is, out in the open, I suffer from depression and anxiety, I go to weekly sessions and I take meds every day.

I don’t expect a drastic change anytime soon, but I realize that my life is not as bleak, hopeless and futile as I had seen it. I have decided to postpone my untimely demise indefinitely. Even though I really don’t have much to lose, or many things to my name, I have a future that was never there before, so for that I will celebrate Thanksgiving this year.

And this is supposed ot make me feel safe?

2006-11-16T13:22:00.000-06:00

CLA cops tasered a student who refused to show ID in Powell Library. They threatened nearby students with tasering if they interfered. A student captured video of the assault with a cameraphone.

Yeah, i feel so much safe knowing dick head cops are out there looking out for my safety and well being...

Just a friendly reminds from the Inner Party of Oceania

Mr. Jackson if you're nasty

2006-11-15T15:42:00.000-06:00

They say that writing is good for the soul, and dream journals can be therapeutic, but for the past 2 weeks there has been a weird underlying theme to my dreams.

I've been having a series of dreams involving Samuel L Jackson in various incarnations from his films

The first one was with Pulp Fiction Era Samuel Jackson. He and I were driving in an old car while he was cussing up a storm. Apparently we were going to a U2 Concert and he was pissed off because he could not find his "The Unforgettable Fire" shirt.

I don't know if this was '80s era U2 or nowadays U2, because we never got to the show.

The next dream involved me at the local mall (La Plaza), I was gift shopping for some kid (not sure who, my godson?). I turn the corner and enter the food court, and there's Deep Blue Sea era Jackson
sitting down eating a burger, that's not too strange. The strange part was there was a shark sitting with him, if anybody has seen the film you know which shark I am referring too. He looked at me and waved, I try to warn him not to trust that shark, but it was too late the shark eats him.

The latest dream involved Shaft era Jackson. In it he was fighting off zombies and had to lead a team of bad asses into "Zombie Headquarters" (don't ask) and steal some secret government formula to stop the zombie plague. His team dies but he infiltrates the headquarters steals the formula and has a showdown with Emperor Zombie (from Amazing Screw-on Head).

I have no idea what the point of these dreams are, but they sure manage to befuddle me when I wake up.

Barefoot Larry’s Hillbilly Slapstrings for Double Bass

2006-11-14T12:57:00.000-06:00

I ordered a set of Barefoot Larry’s Hillbilly Slapstrings for Double Bass and got them in the mail 2 week ago. I tried installing them myself and saw that I needed to adjust parts of the bass to accommodate them.

I took my Bass to a Luther to get the strings fitted and have other adjustments made to my Brown betty [that’s my bass’ name]. I got Betty back earlier this week and I’ve had a chance to play with the string and I must say, they have been one of the best investments I’ve made in a long time

The strings are great, responsive with a deep rich tone.
They tend to slip a bit during the first week and require tuning every other day, but by the second week they held to their tone nicely.
They’re black and look wicked as hell!
If you played steel string before getting these you will need to make adjustments to the nut and bridge, not being a pro I took mine to a Luther

If anybody is looking for a great, cheaper alternative to gut strings, I recommend you get a set of these, you will get more than your money’s worth

Top 20 Hackers in Film History

2006-11-14T12:17:00.000-06:00

Being a computer geek as well as a film buff, I found this list warming to the heart. I know, "Top...whatever" lits have become a cliche, but this one I liked. I'm only going to post a few of my favorties, the rest can be found at Drivl

14. Gus Gorman, Superman III (1983)

Famous Quote: "I don't want to go to jail because there are robbers and rapers and rapers who rape robbers."

13. Kevin Mitnick, Takedown (2000)

Famous Quote: "Should we fear hackers? Intention is at the heart of this discussion."

10. Michael Bolton & Samir Nagheenanajar, Office Space (1999)

Famous Quote: Michael - "PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean?" Samir - "Back up in your ass with the resurrection."

9. Theodore Donald 'Rat' Finch, The Core (2003)

Famous Quote: "You want me to hack the planet? Ok, if I decide to do this, I'll need an unlimited supply of Xena tapes and Hotpockets."

My Lebowski Fest Poster

2006-11-13T20:15:00.000-06:00

The mock up Lebowski Fest poster for my graphic design class is finished. It needs a little tweaking but overall I'm happy with the results.

Of course, nothing beats commissioning original artwork for an event, but I think I made due with what I had.

Fly on the Wall

2006-11-13T18:35:00.000-06:00

It’s not very often that I share stuff that I’ve written in class, mainly because I never feel its good enough, but I really dug this one so I’m posting

*****

The air hangs heavy and languid on a South Texan afternoon, the humidity, paradise to the mosquitoes swarming about like dive bombers on the battle field. The sun sits lazily in the haze, covered by clouds like gauze over an open wound.

A couple walks hand in hand, discussing the events of the day. He wears a form fitted maroon shirt and battered jeans. She is dressed in Cuban heeled boots, painted-on denim and a two-sizes-too-small sweater. They casually swing their arms to-and-fro to the beat of the mosquitoes that are determined to find a late afternoon supper.

They stop, as if a sudden realization entered both their minds, they turn to face each other and gaze into each others eyes. Their hands interlock, finger caressing finger until their palms are pressed against one another. Without warning, they lean towards each other, the Cuban heeled girl lifting herself on her toes to get an extra inch, and kiss tenderly and swiftly.

The kiss lasts for a few seconds, it ends as suddenly as IT began, they turn and continue walking down the Communication Arts and Sciences building’s walkway into the dwindling daylight. They turn the corner and disappear from the observers’ view.

The observer turns and looks towards the welcoming coolness waiting inside the COAS building. The promise of sanctuary from the gathering mosquito storm is enticing. With a sigh, the observer gets up and heads towards the waiting gloom of the building. A flock of crows flies overhead, blocking the last remaining rays of light; foreshadowing the promise of fresh soothing darkness inside.

2006-11-04T17:44:00.000-06:00

What simple thing brings you the most pleasure?

mine's walking barefoot on freshly cut grass

(My latest topic from Consumating.)

2006-11-04T17:25:00.000-06:00

It's not me, it's you! How do you break up with someone?

They usually break-up with me...

(From Consumating)

2006-11-04T17:24:00.000-06:00

What is your favorite toy?

My Bass

(From Consumating)

2006-11-04T17:22:00.000-06:00

Other than the souls of small children, what do you collect?

Altoid boxes, old computers and tons of outdated software... Windows 3.11 anybody?

(From Consumating)

2006-11-04T17:19:00.000-06:00

What is the worst mistake you ever made?

treating the girl of my dreams and soulmate like sh*t, somehow you never get over that...

(From Consumating)

2006-11-04T17:16:00.000-06:00

Where do you spend more time: the real world or the dream world?

real world, going to the dream world, then coming back to this place is too painful to bare

(From Consumating)

2006-11-04T17:15:00.000-06:00

What do you fight for every day?

The unending desire to give up, get a mediocre job and stop trying to live my dreams

(From Consumating)

2006-11-04T17:11:00.000-06:00

What is the scariest thing you've ever seen?

I saw a person get decapitated by a helicopter blade, that was pretty gruesome...

(From Consumating)

2006-10-23T21:32:00.000-05:00

What skeletons live in your closet?

I took the blame for something I didn't do to help my buddy win the girl, and I blackmail him every chance I get

(From Consumating)

2006-10-23T21:28:00.000-05:00

If you could roll back one hour from your life, which hour would it be?

If I had to roll back any hour of my life it would be the time I decided to drink green Chartreuse mixed with Absinthe. The next day I had the most wrenched experience of my life

(From Consumating)

2006-10-23T11:56:00.000-05:00

Biggest culinary mistake you’ve made?

Mine is I once accidentally put buttermilk in my coffee

(My latest topic from Consumating.)

2006-10-22T16:10:00.000-05:00

washing machine

coolest washing machine commercial ever

2006-10-22T06:00:00.000-05:00

What do you think is the #1 most overplayed cover song?

(My latest topic from Consumating.)

2006-10-21T00:12:00.000-05:00

The Tear Garden - Sheila like the rodeo

takes me back

Hell

2006-10-17T22:02:00.000-05:00

I have found Hell. It's having your AC broken and trying to sleep in 96 degree weather with 89 percent humidity.

2006-10-17T19:13:00.000-05:00

Portishead - glorybox

great video from one of the best '90s band

Baboon gangs terrorize suburbs

2006-10-17T15:31:00.000-05:00

Roving gangs of big baboons are terrorizing suburbanites in Cape Town, South Africa, brazenly breaking into homes, cleaning out refrigerators, and shitting all over the place. Now, rival human groups have emerged, some wanting to protect the monkeys and others wanting to clear them out or kill them. From National Geographic:

"I have had them in my house several times, even while I was there.

They simply brushed past me. I had to get out of the way," (said Joan Laing, co-chair of the ironically-named Welcome Glen Baboon-Free Neighbourhood Action Group.)

"Even my husband got threatened by a baboon." She insists that monitoring teams trying to keep the baboons at bay are not effective.

The source of the problem is human encroachment into the baboons' historic habitat.

*****
Surprisingly enough, this behavior is mirrored by human gang members and their response to any outside business that tries to move into their habitat.

Today has been...

2006-10-15T17:25:00.000-05:00

Today has definitely been a Slowdive day. Hmm, does that comment age me?

Copyright Destroys Restaurant

2006-10-15T15:33:00.000-05:00

Posted by on October 10, 2006 at 7:23 PM

A performance of the Jimi Hendrix classic, "The Wind Cries Mary," may cost Michael Dorr his restaurant.

Dorr, the 37-year-old owner of Imbibe on Southeast Hawthorne Boulevard, has been slapped with a federal lawsuit by companies that own the rights to a trio of popular classics that were performed at Dorr's restaurant in 2005.

The songs at the center of the suit?

Other than the Hendrix song, the music companies say Stevie Wonder's "That Girl," and a 1971 tune, "Slippin' into Darkness."

Dorr says a rep from the American Society of Musicians and Publishers paid an unannounced visit to his restaurant one night and heard covers of the songs performed by local band "Black Notes."

Because his place features local musicians and covers are rare, he didn't think he had to pay the musicians and publishers group an estimated $2,000 to cover performances of copyrighted tunes.

But the owners of the songs, including Wonder and Hendrix's estate, say he does.

Now they're suing Dorr for copyright infringement - and they're seeking payment of between $750 and $30,000 for each song, along with attorney fees.

"It's basically going to bankrupt me and put me out of business," Dorr said this morning. "I can't afford the lawyer and the fees. It's going to close me down."

The married father of two, who opened Imbibe a couple of years ago, said bands typically start playing after 10. But after Friday, the restaurant will do without live music because of the lawsuit.

"It's a total bummer," he said. "It's scary for me and my family. The restaurant business is hard and on top of other things, business is slow. This is the icing on the cake."

###

The Buffalo Theory

2006-10-15T15:14:00.000-05:00

This is just wrong

2006-10-05T14:29:00.000-05:00

On so many levels

2006-10-05T02:05:00.001-05:00

Let's Paint,Exercise,& Blend Drinks TV!

this is th sh*t!!

2006-10-05T02:05:00.000-05:00

Let's Paint,Exercise and Eat Pie-Live #1

wow, just wow

2006-10-05T02:02:00.000-05:00

Saved By Patrick Stewart

For all of you that have been stuck with a sh*tty group project, I present this poor guy

The Purification

2006-10-03T22:38:00.000-05:00

Surfing around I came across a reference to The Purifcation site. I have no idea what its about, but it seems to be a viral campaign of some sort. there's a cool discussion of it over on this site. anybody have any idea what its all about?

Ubuntu Last.FM and Paris (?)

2006-09-19T17:48:00.000-05:00

Dang, my home desktop crashed killing my C:\ drive. Luckily I save all my music on a secondary D:\ drive; however I installed Ubuntu Linux as my OS and I’m having problems getting it to see my music.

So I’m stuck listening to Last.FM radio, unfortunately, I think there’s some sort of payola conspiracy going on, because I’m suppose to be listening to “punk” and “horrorpunk” and all of the sudden Paris Hilton shows up!!

I’ve gotten the D:\ drive to work a few times, but every time I reboot the system I can’t see it again, so I anybody can give me some Linux help I would sure appreciate it

2006-09-09T17:54:00.000-05:00

HAL 9000 Apple ad

damn it to hell who knew that HAL9000 was pro Mac

Gang dumps five human heads in bar

2006-09-07T22:24:00.000-05:00

“URUAPAN, Mexico - An armed gang of suspected drug traffickers wearing ski masks threw five human heads onto the dance floor of a bar in western Mexico on Wednesday in an apparent revenge killing, prosecutors said.

Wielding handguns and rifles, some 20 men dressed in black drove up to the Luz y Sombra (Light and Shade) club on the edge of the city of Uruapan, in Michoacan state, shortly after midnight, barged inside and fired shots in the air.

‘What's likely behind this are problems stemming from drug trafficking,’ a spokesman for the local attorney general's office said. He said the killings could be revenge for the murder in the same city on Sunday of two women, one of whom was beheaded and had a finger sliced off.

The handwritten note called the attack ‘divine justice.’

‘The family does not kill for money. It does not kill women or innocent people. Those who die are those who must die. Everyone should know that this is divine justice,’ it read.

Thirteen people have been decapitated this year in Michoacan, which has a long and sparsely populated Pacific coastline and is used by traffickers shipping cocaine and marijuana to the United States.”

What’s ironic is the somewhat noble efforts form the family to rationalize the beheading of the five cabrrones

Yahoo! News

Free Movies Fallen out of Copyright (Public Domain)

2006-09-07T10:34:00.000-05:00

As an unemployed undergraduate student, money is in short supply while boredom is in high supply. That’s why I’m glad I came across joHnh.com and its growing list of free movies fallen out of copyright.

With its growing selection of free movies and documenters, this site has kept me entertained and informed.

Free Movies Fallen out of Copyright (Public Domain)

Cops say grave robbers had sex on their minds

2006-09-07T10:16:00.000-05:00

“On their way to dig up a grave in rural southwestern Wisconsin, the Grunke brothers and a friend stopped at a Wal-Mart to pick up some condoms, authorities said.

Three days later, on Tuesday, twins Nicholas and Alexander Grunke, 20, and Dustin Radke, 20, were charged in Grant County with attempted theft — and attempting to have sex with a corpse.

‘In different schools that teach you about bizarre behavior, necrophilia is one of those things that you hear about, but never think you'll have to deal with,’ said Grant County Sheriff Keith Grovier.”

Wow, I’ve been to the depths of dispainr and loneliness, but never this far down, I don’t think two bottles of Old Crow would of helped me cook up something this half-cocked

St. Paul Pioneer Press

2006-09-07T00:01:00.000-05:00

Cardboard Upright Bass

this is soo sweet!!

2006-09-06T11:50:00.000-05:00

Monty Python - International Philosophy

best skit ever

Life for woman who BBQs husband and feeds him to tigers

2006-09-06T10:34:00.000-05:00

“Thai woman who arranged for her English ex-husband to be barbecued and had his remains scattered around a tiger sanctuary was jailed for life today.

Body parts of Mr Charnaud, a former Marlborough College pupil, were found in Kaeng Krajan national park, one of the last refuges for Thailand's tigers, in April last year after Pannada reported her ex-husband was missing.

A subsequent investigation revealed that the three other defendants had been waiting for him at her home. They tried to shoot him with an antiquated long barreled musket but it backfired. They then beat Mr Charnaud to death with iron bars and a lump of wood.

The killers placed his body on an already prepared charcoal barbecue then cut up his cooked remains and spread them around the tiger reserve.”

The moral of the story, don’t live close to any wildlife reserve that hosts anything flesh eating.

The Daily Mail

Our brains are hardwired to believe supernatural, say doctors

2006-09-06T10:28:00.000-05:00

“Researchers claim belief in magic is hardwired into the brain from birth.

‘Magical beliefs help us connect with those we love or hate,’ said Professor Bruce Hood of the University of Bristol, who led the research. "In babies we believe this effect is strong, but in many adults it is as well. A lot of people believe in the supernatural - that is exactly the same effect."

In a study of more than 200 pre-school children, it was found that they paid great attention to magic tricks. ‘It is almost as if their brain is being trained to believe the unbelievable,’ Professor Hood told the British Association Festival of Science in Norwich.”

Ok, just because children go “ohhh and ahhh” at your magic trick, it does not mean that they are hardwired to believe in the supernatural. Then again, I live in a poverty stricken area of the US and superstition seems to be rampant, while education seems to be a low priority, so there might be a correlation there.

The Daily Mail

What I want for my Birthday...

2006-08-31T07:11:00.000-05:00

2006-08-29T09:33:00.000-05:00

2 legit 2 quit

Cthulhu vs Godzilla

2006-08-19T00:39:00.000-05:00

The heaviest of heavyweight battles! The blasphemous Cyclopean sea-god tangles tentacles with the ultimate atomic monstrosity! Oceans will boil! Continents will crumble! Tokyo doesn't stand a chance! Oh, the humanity!

2006-08-18T00:59:00.000-05:00

Reg Kehoe & His Marimba Queens - A Study In Brown

An old school slapper getting medieval on his doghouse

2006-08-07T08:58:00.000-05:00

HOWTO: Open A Beer Bottle With A Piece Of Paper

2006-08-07T02:09:00.000-05:00

TRON vs. Depeche Mode

Noah's Sons Rode Flying Dinosaurs

2006-08-06T14:11:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, I get the naïve notion that I could, one day become a semi mediocre writer, but then I read journalistic articles like these and then I realize, I dont have the talent to make up sh*t like this

###

For years, Creation Scientists have disputed how Noah was able to quickly collect millions of indigenous animals from remote, inaccessible regions of the world for a 40-day ride in his ark. New evidence from an archeological find in China supports the long held Christian belief that Noah's sons rode giant flying dinosaurs to transport duck billed platypuses from Australia, and penguins and polar bears from the Antarctic, to name a few. "Those must have been some mighty big flying dinosaurs," says Pastor Deacon Fred. "Imagine the look on Noah's face when his sons flew in for a landing with a pair of Hippos strapped to the back of one of them things! Glory to God!"

"The Lord is just amazing," says Creation Scientist, Dr. Jonathan Edwards. "Whenever Atheist scientists make a new find, they think it will hack away at our Christian beliefs. They must get pretty peeved at how sneaky our Lord is, because whenever they unearth something, it only provides more support for the historical accuracy of the Holy Bible And these flying dinosaurs they keep finding are no exception!"

Dr. Edwards explains that it would have been impossible for Noah's sons to travel to the four corners of the earth to areas that were previously inaccessible on foot. "Noah and his sons had to collect two of every single creature on the face of the planet," he says. "We're talking about a big haul here. At first we just attributed it to what Creation Scientists call, the Holy Finger Snapping Theory. That's where God snaps his fingers and just makes it so." Edwards points out that Creation Scientists are still unanimous in attributing the fact that Noah was able to load 100 million plus animals onto a 450 foot ark "in the selfsame day" (Genesis 7:13-14) to the Finger Snapping Theory. In the case of how the animals were collected from remote regions of the world in the first place however, recent archeological finds indicate that Noah's sons were able to tame giant flying dinosaurs and in turn, load them up with food supplies and hitch rides for long trips around the world to China, South America, Australia, Greenland, and the North Pole.

Creation Scientists estimate that since the Earth is only ten-thousand years old, human beings were living among dinosaurs and had plenty of time to tame them. "I would have loved to have been around to see Cain and Abel rolling around in the grass outside the Garden of Eden playing with the pet raptors their father, Adam, gave them for their birthdays," says Pastor Deacon Fred. "What a glorious time that must have been!"

Through tithing donations from Landover Baptist Church members, the Center for Creation Research was able to secure several fossilized remains of flying dinosaurs valued at over $14 million. The remains will be studied exhaustively for evidence of the leather harnessing used to secure Noah's sons for their long transcontinental journeys.

###

New Evidence Suggests Noah's Sons Rode Flying Dinosaurs